Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
