It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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