After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
