I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
