I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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