I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
