Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
