why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
