So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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