just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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