Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
