Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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