I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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