Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
