I met the friendliest cop last night
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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