And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize