Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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