you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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