you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
there is glitter all over my balls
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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