matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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