I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
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I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
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told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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