i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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