Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
