I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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