Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
