i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
