do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
