I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
