god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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