Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
not ubering you a puppy
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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