O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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