took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
