If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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