the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
