On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
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They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
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Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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