why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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