talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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