Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
