The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize