Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
