bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
