If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
