she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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