People with herpes should wear stickers.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
