Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
