I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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