just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She needs sedatives and a leash
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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