Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
