THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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