I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
