U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
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Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
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If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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