Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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