It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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