Who did Billy Mays play for?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize