My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
