You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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