Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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