sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize