When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
