there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
