your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i think we sleep fucked last night...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
