You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
