Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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