That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
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he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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