I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
